The AR-15 — the deadliest abomination known to man. A gun so terrible it’s killed more people than net neutrality and Trump’s tax cuts combined. And to demonstrate how awful this weapon is, I did something foolish: I tried firing one. And the experience was so horrible I have not stopped crying and soiling myself since.
Yes, even as I type this, tears fill my eyes at the remembrance of pulling that trigger and the terrible things that followed. And my pants... my pants are so soaked.
How to describe the experience of firing that monstrosity? When I pulled the trigger, it was like an explosion went off INSIDE THE GUN. There was fire and everything! And then the gun ATTACKED ME! It lurched back at me, trying to strike me with that flat part on the back of it. You heard me right: The gun tried to BLUDGEON ME TO DEATH!
I reacted immediately and dropped to the ground, curled up into a ball, and started weeping — the same thing I’ve been trained to do if I ever hear the wrong pronouns used. And then I emptied my bladder and have not been able to stop since. The doctor is telling me that with all the urination and tears, I could dehydrate myself; I will be yet another casualty of the terrible AR-15.
Obviously, any gun so scary it would make me continuously wet myself must be banned immediately. I don’t think I will be able to stop crying and peeing my pants until I am assured that no one out there owns an AR-15. This has so traumatized me that I have now nearly forgotten my previous trauma caused by a butterfly landing on my face.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
State and local officials rush to create a catalog of minors to hand over to those on the Epstein client list.
"We want to protect the children" This new bill (Illinois SB 3977) is very similar to the recently passed California bill (and the introduced Colorado bill) and, if passed, would set a deadline of January 1st, 2028 for compliance.
https://legiscan.com/IL/bill/SB3977/2025
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
