ATLANTA, GA—CNN has fired three employees for not being vaccinated, and now the laid-off workers are wishing they had just exposed themselves on camera instead so they could have kept their jobs.
The three laid-off employees drank away their sorrows at a local bar, expressing their regrets for not getting vaccinated when they could have just Toobined themselves on a Zoom call with coworkers and kept their jobs.
"Man, if I'd only have pulled a Toobin on camera, I would have been fine!" lamented one of the laid-off journalists over a few beers. "I should have just, you know, watched my favorite comedian, Buddy Wackit. Or my favorite Little Rascal, Spanky, or my favorite baseball team, the Yankees. It all seems so clear in hindsight."
"Oh well. Maybe we'll get a job at NBC News and we can lock women in our offices like Matt Lauer instead of refusing the jab."
At publishing time, they'd also realized they could have just covered for their governor brother during a sex scandal as well.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
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As one of the few sane people in MA - THANK YOU - for that article about MA just now ie the entire state is declared incompetent! I sent you a one-time donation of $25 just for that. I tell them that all the time too. :)
UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
