MARTHA'S VINEYARD, MA—Barack Obama held a light, casual, scaled-back birthday party for just 666 guests today, not wanting to hold a large gathering and spread COVID—not to mention the concerns that his mansion might be wiped out by climate change at any moment.
There were many fun activities throughout the birthday party, from a pinata shaped like President Trump to a hilarious ongoing gag of hiding Nancy Pelosi's dentures from her. But the real highlight of the event, according to attendees, was a fun, light-hearted game of "Pin the Drone on the Middle Eastern Country."
"Oooh, you almost got it, Joe! So close!" laughed Obama at his former acquaintance as President Joe Biden pinned a Predator drone cutout onto an expensive lamp some 200 feet away. "You were really close that time, I promise!"
Many guests were having trouble getting the drone pinned on the poster, as they were blindfolded and spun around a few times. Plus, many of them were already drunk on expensive wine, beer, or the blood of small children.
After dozens of guests missed key cities, though, the man himself stepped up to the plate and, after being spun around a few times, walked right up and slapped the Predator drone on a hospital full of civilians.
Without even looking back, Obama walked away and smiled, putting on his shades as though in slow motion. "I still got it. I still got it."
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."
