ATLANTA, GA—Former Governor Andrew Cuomo has resigned in disgrace amid accusations of sexual harassment, but the sky is still the limit for his career, as CNN immediately hired him under a multi-million-dollar contract.
As soon as CNN learned the man was credibly accused of sexual harassment, they scooped him up to be an on-air personality.
"Between his ability to lie through his teeth, cover up atrocities, and sexually harass women, we think Mr. Cuomo will be a perfect fit for our company culture here at CNN," said CNN President Jeff Zucker. "What a find for our cable news channel! Plus, his brother already works here, and the two have intimate knowledge of each other's scandals. Mr. Cuomo will really hit the ground running here."
"Welcome, Mr. Cuomo!"
At publishing time, CNN had confirmed the Cuomo brothers will star in a new show called "Super Cuomo Bros." where they jump on seniors' heads to murder them and throw fireballs at the elderly.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
As one of the few sane people in MA - THANK YOU - for that article about MA just now ie the entire state is declared incompetent! I sent you a one-time donation of $25 just for that. I tell them that all the time too. :)
UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
