RICHMOND, VA—A local 5th-grade class started classes this morning by standing and reciting the pledge of allegiance to Dr. Fauci, as is now the cherished custom.
"Ritual is important for a sense of security and normalcy, and also to ensure these kids swear their undying allegiance to Dr. Fauci, who is the living embodiment of science and our hope for the future," said 5th-grade teacher Mrs. Scuttlebumm. "We will start every day this way until science hears us and saves us all."
With their hands over their hearts, the class recited the pledge together in perfect monotone unison:
"I pledge allegiance, to the Fauci,
Of the United States of America.
And to the Democracy, for which he stands,
One nation, under SCIENCE, Anti-racist,
With obedience, responsibility, and collective
safety for all."
Once the terrible pandemic has subsided, teachers will then replace the Fauci pledge with a pledge to Mother Gaia.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
State and local officials rush to create a catalog of minors to hand over to those on the Epstein client list.
"We want to protect the children" This new bill (Illinois SB 3977) is very similar to the recently passed California bill (and the introduced Colorado bill) and, if passed, would set a deadline of January 1st, 2028 for compliance.
https://legiscan.com/IL/bill/SB3977/2025
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
