TALLAHASSEE, FL—With all the evil Democrats and namby-pamby Republicans around the country making innocent kids wear masks against their will, one courageous state governor, Ron DeSantis, is putting his foot down. He has just signed an order decreeing that all teachers who make kids wear masks will be thrown in the gator pond.
"Now THAT is how you fight back!" said all the conservative commentators in the country in unison.
"Listen, I'm just not gonna stand for it," said DeSantis in his classic Desantis average mannerisms and average adult male voice inflection. "We haven't used the alligator pond for a while, but maybe it's time to bring that back."
The audience clapped and cheered and started chanting "Throw them in! Throw them in!"
State police have now removed the cover from the gator pond in preparation for throwing teachers in it.
"Not only can we not teach CRT, we can't put masks on kids!" said one teacher in one of her daily TikTok videos. "I have nothing to live for anymore! DeSantis is Hitler!"
She was then chucked into the gator pond in keeping with last week's executive order prohibiting teachers from making TikTok videos.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
State and local officials rush to create a catalog of minors to hand over to those on the Epstein client list.
"We want to protect the children" This new bill (Illinois SB 3977) is very similar to the recently passed California bill (and the introduced Colorado bill) and, if passed, would set a deadline of January 1st, 2028 for compliance.
https://legiscan.com/IL/bill/SB3977/2025
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
