WASHINGTON, D.C.—U.S health officials have noticed what appears to be a growing crisis among transwomen: rampant infertility. A very disturbing report shows that not one transwoman has ever successfully become pregnant.
“Transwomen are women the same as any other women,” said Grant Leonard, a spokesman for the National Institutes of Health, “so it’s very odd that they can’t seem to get pregnant. We have our top people looking into this.”
Researchers initially used science and reason when looking into the cause of this crisis, but that led to a number of problematic findings, so they were quickly abandoned. Researchers are instead now relying simply on feelings. “This feels really wrong,” said one researcher. “I mean, they’re women like any other women so they should be able to get pregnant.”
With the abandonment of science, any technical solution seems infeasible, but researchers have come up with another proposed solution: redefine the word “pregnant” like they did “woman” so transwomen can be that as well. “Old science doesn’t hold a candle to just having a dictionary and some whiteout,” said Leonard.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."
UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
