WASHINGTON, D.C.—After doing such a good job at being President this week, Biden is treating himself to some more well-deserved vacation time to reward himself for his really hard work.
"Yeah that was a humdinger of a speech I gave just now," said Biden as Marine One took off to head back to Camp David. "I'll bet the American people are really inspired and impressed with my very good job. And seeing as how nothing is really going on in the world at the moment, I think it's time to head back to Camp David and put these old feet in the pool! Maybe a kid will come and rub my hairy legs--who knows!"
According to sources, aides are preparing an exquisite selection of ice cream cones to welcome the president back to his favorite vacation spot.
"We're not sure what's going on right now," said CNN's White House correspondent, "but I think the main takeaway we can all agree on here is that President Biden is doing a very, very good job. Good Job Mister President! We'll miss you while you're vacationing!"
Although some Republicans maliciously pounced on Biden's decision to take a nice long break he has clearly earned, the White House Chief of Staff insisted that it's important for the President to use up his vacation days now or else he'll lose them.
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"It's become such a wonderful tradition to ring in the beautiful autumn season by covering my home with fall decor," Carol said as she strategically placed dried leaves and withered straw around her living room.
"Fall is here! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" said a spokeswife for the American Wives Union in an official statement.
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