NEW YORK—Along with the newly released trailer for Spider-Man: No Way Home, some plot details have also leaked that have fans rejoicing. According to portions of the script released on Reddit, in this story, Peter Parker will consult Doctor Strange to help him make it so Sam Raimi's Spider-Man 3 never happened.
"Please, Mister Doctor Strange, sir, can you just make it so that movie never happened? Or maybe just erase everyone's memory about it? Or at least erase that jazz dance scene? I can't go on living in a reality where that version of Peter Parker exists, even if it's in a different universe."
In the scene that follows, Doctor Strange crafts a spell to erase all the terrible things in Spider-Man 3 from all universes—including Peter's emo hair, that awful dance number, and every villain being shoehorned into a single movie.
"While you're at it sir, can you also make me have bought Bitcoin in 2009? And maybe undo my vote for Joe Biden?"
As Peter Parker continues to interrupt, Doctor Strange messes up the spell and accidentally creates a reality where Trump is president forever. Trump is expected to be the main villain of the movie.
Spider-Man: No Way Home will be in theaters this winter.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
SAN FRANCISCO—A cashier working the closing shift at a small mom-and-pop store on Sutter St. was left shocked and bewildered when a customer tried to pay for her items.
Store security footage reveals the customer roamed the store calmly while looters plucked most shelves dry. She picked up a few trinkets before heading to the register.
"I wasn't really paying attention," said the cashier, Brian Risico. "We get lots of looters, but I don't think I've ever seen a paying customer. No one taught me how to use the register."
"Then this chick comes up," he continued. "She's– I don't know. Normal? She placed some products on the counter and asked for the damage. I thought she was going to hurt me, but it turned out she wanted to know how much money she should give me."
Risico stared blankly at the woman for a minute before panicking and fleeing in terror. The unnamed customer then placed a twenty on the counter and left. The twenty-dollar bill was promptly stolen.
According to ...
U.S.—As part of a bold new marketing strategy to promote inclusivity and appeal to less than 1% of the population, Mars, Incorporated has introduced a new M&M character who identifies as a Skittle.
"I'm gonna be honest here. We basically are doing this because it's hip and makes us look cool," said Mars, Incorporated CEO Franklin Crunchy. "And that adds to the bottom line. I think we can make a decent fortune by comparing the hardship of real trans people to a wacky cartoon character."
"Trans people deserve to be represented by M&Ms," he continued. "Our Trans-Skittle character will help us break chocolate-covered barriers in your mouth and not in your hands."
The new character, named Quinn, is an M&M that wears an "S" because they haven't had letter reassignment surgery yet. On the inside, Quinn has the same chocolate taste because it isn't able to change anything but its outward appearance.
"We just want to let the trans community know that M&M supports you and wants your money!"...
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