The Babylon Bee
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December 10, 2024

Biden Cancels Aid To Syria After Finding Out Some Needy Americans Live There

"America first," Biden told a bowl of Jello. "Americans must suffer first as an example to the world. Not me, though. I am too important."

https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-cancels-aid-to-syria-after-finding-out-some-needy-americans-live-there

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🎙Christianity, Star Wars Prequels, and Staying In California | The Dave Rubin Interview

Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books

The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.

00:50:59
December 10, 2024

Nation's Violent Psychos Protest Daniel Penny Acquittal By Refusing To Ride NYC Subway

"This jurys verdict will have serious consequences," said violent psycho Tommy Jacobs. "We will not stand idly by while our rights to perpetrate vicious, unprovoked assaults against unsuspecting citizens are violated in such a flagrant way. Starting today, none of us will set foot on a New York subway train as long as Daniel Penny roams free. We have to draw the line somewhere."

https://babylonbee.com/news/violent-psychos-protest-daniel-penny--acquittal-by-refusing-to-ride-nyc-subway

December 10, 2024

Selfless Heroism Legalized In New York

"This is great news for heroes of all kinds," said legal analyst Christopher Gilbert. "This verdict tossed aside many years of criminals being coddled in New York and instead gives selfless individuals with the desire to preserve life the green light to act impulsively on behalf of those being oppressed or assaulted. Many of us never thought this day would ever come, but here it is. It is legal to be heroic in New York."

https://babylonbee.com/news/selfless-heroism-legalized-in-new-york

December 10, 2024

Life Hack: You Can Avoid Wokeness In Video Games By Just Playing Ninja Golf On The Atari 7800

"Why would I play a modern video game when Ninja Golf has everything a person needs?" LonelyGuy69 said during a 24-hour live stream of the title. "There are no pronouns anywhere in this game. Plus, it has ninjas, golf, and cultural appropriation. This is so based!"

https://babylonbee.com/news/life-hack-you-can-avoid-wokeness-in-video-games-by-just-playing-ninja-golf-on-the-atari-7800

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