The Babylon Bee
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'Now Now, Let's Not Be So Hasty To Find And Assassinate Everyone Responsible For The Healthcare Crisis,' Says Nervous Obama
"Now, now, let us not get carried away here," said Obama, tapping the floor faster and faster as an eyebrow inadvertently twitched. "Surely the answer here is not more violence. After all, we cannot just go around slaughtering all of the people responsible for our messed-up healthcare system now, can we? All I am saying is, let us not be overly rushed about this."
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🎙Christianity, Star Wars Prequels, and Staying In California | The Dave Rubin Interview
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
00:50:59
Assassin Luigi Mangione Takes Lead In 2028 Democratic Primary Polls
"He is the perfect representative of everything the Democratic Party stands for," said MSNBC host Rachel Maddow. "He is ruthless, uninformed, deranged — and he's willing to kill people he disagrees with. These are all the fundamental qualities Democrat voters look for most. The only factor that may hold Luigi Mangione back is the fact that he is not legally old enough to run for president yet, but whether or not something is legal has never held Democrats back before."https://babylonbee.com/news/assassin-luigi-mangione-takes-lead-in-2028-democratic-primary-polls
Liberals Sadly Wish Each Other 'Happy Holidays' One Last Time Before Trump Makes It Punishable By Death
"Happy Holidays," a tearful Sarah Stone said, holding her children tight. "I love you and I — I just want to tell you Happy Holidays before it is too late. Before Trump kills us all."
Caitlin Clark Explains That White Privilege Feels Weirdly Like Getting Beat Up By Giant Black Lesbians
"The fact is, I clearly have experienced white privilege. No one else gets beat up routinely on national television by enormous black lesbians," explained Clark. "That is obviously a privilege that I have, being white. I recognize that this league was built by these gargantuan lesbians, and we must honor all the work they do punching me because of my skin color."
