"Not again," sighed Director Wray, handing over his resignation. "I do not know how McDonalds does it. How did they beat us at arresting shooters, all while making perfectly crispy fries, a solid breakfast, and surprisingly good coffee? We just cannot compete with the golden arches."
https://babylonbee.com/news/mcdonalds-surpasses-fbi-in-number-of-shooters-apprehended-in-2024
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
"Happy Holidays," a tearful Sarah Stone said, holding her children tight. "I love you and I — I just want to tell you Happy Holidays before it is too late. Before Trump kills us all."
"The fact is, I clearly have experienced white privilege. No one else gets beat up routinely on national television by enormous black lesbians," explained Clark. "That is obviously a privilege that I have, being white. I recognize that this league was built by these gargantuan lesbians, and we must honor all the work they do punching me because of my skin color."
"Now, now, let us not get carried away here," said Obama, tapping the floor faster and faster as an eyebrow inadvertently twitched. "Surely the answer here is not more violence. After all, we cannot just go around slaughtering all of the people responsible for our messed-up healthcare system now, can we? All I am saying is, let us not be overly rushed about this."